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Children In Our Mosques: AN Opportunity For Compassion

17/7/2014

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السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

I was at Sultan Mosque tonight and while enjoying the windy breeze awaiting the azan for Isya', overheard small cries of infants/toddlers from the women's section on the second floor. A friend whom I was with, narrated how his sister was chastised just the other day by fellow Muslimahs at Mydin Mosque for the same thing. They chided her for being "rude", "inconsiderate" and that "they should have just stayed at home." In effect, these Muslimahs practically chased her and her child away from the mosque. It reminded me when I was an Imam previously, on many occassions my congregation was more perturbed about having children in the congregation than me as the Imam myself!

Firstly, it is perplexing that she was castigated and chided by mothers, who themselves perhaps not too long ago, had to care for their own young children. Secondly, a mosque is NOT the property or rights of any individuals (mosque management committee members included) but it is the House of Allah - a sacred entity belonging to everyone equally. Thirdly, it is disconcerting that we go to the mosques to offer our service to our Lord but acts and treats His creations with absolute disdain, lacking in respect, compassion and empathy. 

Mothers who bring their children to the mosques should be appreciated, respected, welcomed and celebrated. They help to instill in their children, love for the Houses of Allah [s.w.t.]. At a time when all parents worry about how their children will turn out when they grow older, this small seeds of faith planted in their children at such a young and tender age, will assist them, should they go wayward in their adult life later, to return back to the mosques which they are familiar when they were younger.

What would the Prophet [s.a.w.] have done if faced by this situation? In order to elucidate this, let us turn back the clock to about 1,400 years ago. A bedouin urinated in the mosque and the people rushed to beat him. Instead, the Beloved [s.a.w.] ordered them to leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over the place where he urinated. He [s.a.w.] then said, “You have been sent to make things easy (for the people) and you have not been sent to make things difficult for them.”  [Bukhari]

This illustrates for us the perfect example of how our behavior should have been. It demonstrates that when any unwanted incident takes place, we should keep our cool and show tolerance and patience. We should find means that would alleviate rather than aggravate the problem. Imagine how nervous the mother and child will be when the congregation stares at them for the noises that the child made. We can be so unwelcoming and harsh to others, without realizing it!

Where is our sense of tolerance and patience? Where is our feeling of compassion and mercy? When and where will we show it, if not in the mosques, of all places? The Beloved Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.”  [Bukhari]

And he (s.a.w.) understood the anxiety and agony that a mother goes through at such times. That is why he said: “Initially when I entered the prayer, I intended to prolong it. But then I heard the crying of a child, so I shortened it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying.”  [Bukhari]

Let us imagine this: if, as a kid, I was scolded for "playing" in the mosque, do you think I would take kindly to any future suggestions by my parents to go to the mosques? And if many of us experience this enough, then as adults, we should not lament why young Muslims avoid our mosques like a plaque!

But more importantly, if our khusyuk during prayers are disrupted by the mere cries of toddlers or the walking of young kids around us: then, I opine and conclude that the problem is not with them but with our own selves, and all that we lack. Such nasty comments and actions by others are simply a reflection of their own lack of appreciation of their prayers and their own inability to attain khusyuk during prayers - and the most convenient first knee-jerk reaction is to blame others for it. 

Therefore, heighten your relationship with your Lord so that your every action is just between you and Him alone. Aim for yourself, that no amount of distractions can rob you from your intimacy with Him [s.w.t.]. Only then, that deed is an intimate conversation between a slave and his/her Lord.

Love,
The Alchemist. 

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A Lifetime Of Solitude

6/1/2014

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السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

While re-reading "The Forty Rules Of Love" in preparation for our new book-reading class next week, I was struck by Rule No. 7 which goes like this: "Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without being lonely…"

First, we often misconceived 'loneliness' and 'solitude' as being one and the same. In doing so, we missed out on the benefits of both. Particularly in these times, most people suffer from loneliness because they have never experienced solitude. And if one is not accustomed to solitude, how can one be intimate in the privacy with his/her Lord?

In the field of human science, psychologists differentiates "loneliness" as something negative while "solitude" as a positive state of mind. This is because loneliness is deemed as something that depletes us and is imposed upon us - whereas solitude is a conscious choice, a springboard to greater self-awareness, and grounds us in who we are that enables us to reach out and give to others.

There is a resonance to the concept of solitude within Islam. One is encouraged to be in a state of regular self-reflections and introspections. Beyond the obligatory deeds, one performs the night vigils in the stillness of the night - a selfless sacrifice of a believer in one of the highest order of intimacy with his Creator. When one performs the supererogatory fasts, one tries to do so in secret. When one performs charity, the left hand does not know what the right hand does, and the list goes on. These acts are not lonely acts despite performing them alone, but these are acts of solitude, love and intimacy between a needy believer and his loving God. During those moments, there are private and beautiful blessings being transpired in their solitude. 

This spiritual saying sums it all up: "to be alone in the crowd" - despite being busy in the hustle and bustle of urban, modern living and all that it demands from us, one's connection and solitude with Allah s.w.t. is always maintained. That is our pillar. That becomes our anchor. That prevails as our handhold with the Divine. That becomes our balance.

How do we apply this concept into our day-to-day existence? It is easy, really. This world is temporary, so treat it as it is. Don't take life too seriously because at the end of the day, we have to let it go willingly. 

Take a moment to enjoy what you have - there is more to life than rushing for deadlines. Take a step back, breathe in deeply and appreciate your life in all its glory. Be grateful.

Let go of things that drags you down. Do not carry baggage as it slows you in your path. Be humble.

Enjoy your quiet time. Be alone sometimes, and always be in a state of solitude. Make peace, within and without. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgiving will set you free.

Smile, love, and choose to be happy.

Life is indeed beautiful, Alhamdulillah!

Love,
The Alchemist.

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